It’s a great time in history to date girls:
Today, you can find millions of beautiful girls online. Just look around you: First, they are on dating websites or in online flirt communities. And here is what is even more exciting: You also find literally millions of single women on social networks. Yes, I am talking literally about millions. In fact, there are over 100 million girls on MySpace. And there are another 60 million girls on facebook, with the numbers growing each and every day by the ten thousands.
You have to admit: That’s a lot of girls! Even if you are the most social guy in the world — the number of hot women you can meet on parties and in clubs is nothing compared to the choice you have online.
And while flirting on dating sites is like going to a singles party in your town, social networking is more like meeting your dream girl through your circle of friends. And isn’t that the most natural way for people to find a girlfriend, anyway? Surveys show that 56% of people in a relationship actually met their partners either through friends or on their job. If you ask women what they think is the best way to meet a partner, a staggering 73% of them will say it’s their social circle.
This means:
Girls expect their dream partner to show up not on some fancy dating website but rather through common friends, in social activities, on their job or at school.
In the online dating world, MySpace and Facebook are as close as you can get to that. And yes, you can even find a girlfriend on Facebook, and you can find a girlfriend on MySpace as well.
So how do you approach beautiful girls on Facebook? And how do you approach attractive women on MySpace?
The first thing most guys will think when they stumble upon a girl’s profile is: "Why would she even want to talk to me?". And, truth be told, beautiful girls usually do have a long, impressive list of friends, and most of them get ten or twenty e-mails from strangers every day — that is, from strangers who are trying to get to know her.
And that’s not really surprising:
Talking to a girl online doesn’t take the balls you might need to approach a woman on the street. It’s safe, because you spare yourself from any embarassing situation if she rejects you. Nobody will see it. In fact, if she’s not interested, she probably won’t even reply at all.
And because it seems so easy, even the shyest guys will give it a shot. They figure they’ve got nothing to lose. And in the end, 95% of the e-mails in a girl’s inbox will sound like "how are you doing?", "how was your weekend?" or "would you like to talk to me?".
Most pick up e-mails a girl receives are dead boring. And after a week on MySpace or Facebook, a cute girl will have learned to spot and delete them in an instant. For girls on Facebook, MySpace or datig sites it’s just like you and I can spot and delete spam messages from our mailboxes without even reading their content.
So you probably wonder what to say to a girl on MySpace, or what to say to a girl on Facebook.
How do you approach girls in order to get a reply?
How can you meet girls online?
And, finally, how do you get a date on Facebook or MySpace?
You are not the only one askingthose questions. I’ve been struggling with them three years ago, and today I have written a book about how to date girls on MySpace and Facebook. And I want to share with you what I have learned over the years.
Dating girls is like building any other connection between people. You always need three steps. You could call them dating secrets, but in fact, you are likely to find them in any social interaction.
First, you need attention. Then you need a connection. And, finally, you need commitment.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
However, most guys will act on their first intuition. They will mix up the three steps as soon as they start to flirt with a girl.
Just ask yourself: What is a guy really doing when he starts a conversation by asking an attractive woman how her weekend has been? First, isn’t that kind of a weird question, given the fact that he doesn’t know her yet? And second, that’s not exactly getting her attention, is it? If a guy approaches a hot girl by asking her how her weekend was, he’s actually trying to build a connection. He’s trying to make her share her thoughtsfeelings and experiences with him right from the start. A strategy that is most likely to fail: It’s simply impossible to build a connection to somebody unless you’ve got their attention first.
What does attention mean? It means to stand out from the crowd. It means that you need to make her recognize that you are different. It doesn’t mean you have to show that you are better than the other guys. Just that something about you is different. To get her attention means to make her curious. At least curious enough to make her reply.
Connection means to show her that you and her have something in common. For instance, you might have the same taste in music. You might both have similar hobbies. And you might share a common sense of humor. Humor, by the way, is the best pick up strategy anyway: If you can laugh together, she will enjoy talking to you. And in the end, that will lay the foundation for the third step:
Commitment. That is the final stage of every flirt. Commitment means that she will decide that you are somebody she wants to stick around. Only now you will get her phone number, meet her in real life or get a date.
Now that is the theory. But how do you apply it?
Many guys want to learn how to talk to girls. They simply forget who they are and fall into the trap of simply reacting to everything the girl does: They make their first mail a comment about something obvious from the girl’s profile. When she doesn’t reply instantly, they interpret it as a rejection and start to feel bad about themselves. And when she does reply but challenges them by being naughty,
they think she doesn’t like them and start making excuses and being extra nice. The reality is, though: Whenever she replies, she is interested.
Next time you see a beautiful woman on Facebook or on MySpace, send her the following message (without the quotes):
Subject: "I really must say…"
Body: "That is a CUTE picture! Who is she? I really like your taste."
Just try it. 8 out of 10 girls on MySpace, Facebook or dating websites will reply. This message will get their attention.
Why? Simple:
That message that starts out like most of the everyday mails she’s getting ("your’re so cute"), but right in the next sentence, the whole meaning is turned on its head. Basically, you are saying that the picture is hot, and that’s why you simply assume that it’s probably not her. Some girls will laugh about that sudden twist, some won’t, but in the end, most of them will feel challenged in some way and send you a reply.
Don’t get me wrong:
Flirting is not about pick up lines. You could have the best pick up lines ever, and still never get a date and die as a virgin.
It’s not enough if you know how to approach a girl. You also have to know how to talk to a girland how to have fun with her.
You can meet girls on Facebook and you can meet girls on MySpace, but you have to know how to flirt and make things escalate. You need to become a master of all three steps of flirting — attention, connection and commitment.
Ordinary dating guides or flirting tips for men will not help you here. They are written by editors in their fourties who work all day in an editor’s office, trying to meet the deadline for the next issue of their magazine or to somehow fill up their homepage with some quick content.
You can become good at flirting. This is not so much a matter of HOW MUCH you study and try, but rather of WHAT IT IS that you study and try. You can put in hundreds of hours of discipline and optimism, but if you’re practicing the wrong thing, you’ll never see the results you want, no matter how much you deserve them. On the other hand, if you find and do the right thing, you can become better than 80% of all the other guys out there fairly quickly.
And if you want to see what I mean I invite you to read the sample chapter of my book on how to approach and date women on Facebook and MySpace.
The book will teach you everything you need: In it, you will learn how to make your profile attractive to girls.
You will learn a step-by-step recipe for the perfect approach message.
You will learn what to talk about with a girl to bond with her.
In the book, you’ll also find games that you can play with her when you’re writing e-mails with a girl that will teach you things about her that she hasn’t even shared with her best friends.
Most important, you will learn how to escalate and transition from talking online to getting her phone number, talking on the phone and meeting her for the first time in real life.
To see for yourself how easy it is to see instant results you can learn more about flirting and how to meet women online on my website "TheCharmingYou". All the information there is free — and that includes the online dating tips that I send out each week via e-mail.
I promise you — it will be fun, and you will love your results!
(And don’t forget to try out the approach message you’ve just learned in this article.)
Your friend,
Leonard Baumgardt
P.S.: I have received many many e-mails from people who have read my book and have had tremendous success with it. On the other hand, I know that it is always a risk to buy something online when you’re still not sure whether it will meet your expectations or not. And because of that, I have legally committed myself to sending back the full purchase price of the book to you if you send me an e-mail and tell me that the book didn’t improve your dating life. I’ve been doing that since I first published the book. So far only two out of every hundred readers have asked for a refund — and have received it. On the other hand, many more have written me thank-you e-mails and recommended my book to their friends. So that makes me really proud. And it makes me confident, that you will love the book and the results that you’ll be getting with it.